Women During Candle Lighting


By Rabbi Berach Steinfeld

In Shemos, Perek chof passuk ches the Torah tells us that we must remember the Shabbos. The Yerushalmi in perek tes vov halacha gimel which is brought down in Tosfos brachos daf mem ches amud bais it is also brought down lehalacha in Orach Chaim siman kuf peh ches that a person is not allowed to daven for personal requests on Shabbos. The Kol Bo says that is the reason the middle twelve brachos in Shmone Esrei are omitted on Shabbos. The reason is that maybe there is a family member that is afflicted with some tzarah and while davening for that member it will evoke feelings of tzaar. Since Shabbos was given for oneg and menucha and not tzaar therefore Chazal established not to ask for personal bakashos.

The Gemara in Brachos daf chof alef amud alef says a different reason why we don’t daven the middle twelve brachos in Shmone Esrei since Chazal did not want to be matriach us lekovod Shabbos. The Sefer Hamanhig explains that since Shabbos we are “memaharin lavo”(hurry in) and therefore we don’t want to have a tircha of davening a long shmone esrei.

The question arises how come women at candle lighting ask for bakashos after they were already mekabel Shabbos? Rav Chaim Kanievsky answers that since this is the best time for women to daven that their children should be talmidei chachomim therefore it is permissible.

A proof can be brought from the fact that we don’t say avinu malkeinu on Rosh Hashana that falls out on Shabbos as it is asking for personal bakashos but yet the Ran says that our minhag is to say avinu malkeinu  on Yom Kippur that falls out on Shabbos. The reason is that since it is the gmar ha’din therefore if we don’t say it on Yom Kippur we won’t be able to say it at all therefore it is permitted. So too when it comes for women davening on behalf of their children to become talmidei chachamim that is the most opportune time therefore it is permitted.

The source is from the Rabbeinu Bachya on the passuk in Yisro of “ko somar…” and then “vesageid” first Moshe had to tell the women first because it is only through their tefillos and their mesiras nefesh can their husband and children become talmidei chachamim therefore when she does the mitzvah of hadlakas neiros she is mispallel for the ner mitzvah vetorah or for their men folk. That is why the gemara says in Shabbos daf chof gimmel amud bais that whoever is makpid to do the mitzvah of near on Shabbos will have children talmidei chachamim.

May we be zocheh that the tefillos of the women during candle lighting comes to fruition.

Do you have a topic or discussion you want to read about? Please send comments or questions to hymanbsdhevens@gmail.com or berachsteinfeldscorner@gmail.com



  1. Praying for children to be Talmiday Chachamim would be a public request (Which is allowed on Shabbot and Yom Tov) not a private one. A Talmid Chacham by definition is a public benefit not a private asset as is Parnassah Etc.

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