Listen: Rabbi Yosef Elefant Praises Parents Raising Frum Kids Outside the Main American Torah Centers



  1. Excellent vort. The Rav hit the nail on the head. Not everything “yishivish” revolves around NY & NJ.
    One can get a “good” shidduch out of the tri-state area as well. Try it. You might like it.

  2. wow! perhaps rabbi e. left out something, namely, the [fake] competition in the school systems. it is much less out of town. think about it.
    in general theres more authenticity of yiddishkeit , and chinuch to become an authentic yid.

  3. Yes, the גשמיות level in these places is totally different, and you simply get use to it. But in these places…

    1. The גוים there are also different – not the NY stock…

    2. There’s sadly a lot of negative baggage that comes with being in a big ‘Torah System’, aside from the boxy regulations, being and feeling like a number, a statistic – and these children are speared from that.

    • So you’re saying that a young eirliche ben Torah that gets married, moves out of “crisis city, NJ” and joins an out of town kiruv kollel, is not an oisvorf and loser?! You mean we don’t have to judge and be judged by our neighbors?! We’re allowed to have yishuv hadaas?! You mean we are allowed to shop in stores not owned by so-called “heimishe”? We’re allowed to treat others with derech eretz? Wow. Okay. Thanx.

  4. Hasn’t chabad been doing this for decades, raising yirieim ushleimim outside the “hubs of Jewish life”?
    What’s the news in this?!?!

  5. Frankly as an out of towner I find this insulting. All we have going for us is excellent parenting? No sense of community or support system? This is the typical NY attitude that believes a support system means a mesivta, BY, and pizza store on every block.

  6. Since we left the tri state area years ago, we haven’t looked back! In the beginning we couldn’t take the lack of gashmiyus…….stores closing by 8, not being able to get takeout at midnight, limited selection of clothing, furniture- compared to what we had. I was miserable to say the least until a friend pointed out that everything I missed was related to gashmiyus. A big eye opener. My kids are MORE sheltered in our out of town community, not less and because it is diverse and there is no herd mentality, everything they do is for Hakadosh Baruch Hu, not to please the masses. They are highly in tune with our family’s hashkafos and ideals and have found like minded friends. If you live out of town, at least in our diverse community, you need to be clear about which camp you belong to. Granted we live in a very large out of town community so we have it good in the gashmiyus department compared to other communities and have lots of schools and shuls to choose from but we’re here to stay despite being declaring at first that we were only staying for five years (needed to move for parnassah purposes but now staying voluntarily)! My kids have an aidelkeit that would have been challenging to achieve in our old community. And yes, believe it or not my kids are just as heimish as their in town cousins and friends, with an out of town twist!

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