American Roshei Yeshivos Encourage Bochurim Not to Delay Shidduchim




  1. Shiduchim is not the real problem! the problem is that both sides are waiting for MR and Mrs perfect. Instruct them to be more humble and less picky!

  2. If there is an increase in divorces due to the lack of maturity and premature jumping into marriage, no one should be suprised. There are serious issues in the shidduch crises but there are alternative ways of dealing with it.

  3. actually the letter seems to say they allow you to get married whenever you are ready but does not go as far as encouraging anything.

    Why do you feel the need to mislead people?

  4. BH, Please read the letter carefully.If the bochur is “ready” to marry, for his own situation, by all means he should start, as the Gedolim say. However, to say that he should start because of the “Shiduch Crisis” would be Kefira, as the Gemora brings down in so many places that 40 days before the child is born a Bas Kol comes down and states Bas Ploney L’Ploney,meaning that each girl has her Shiduch made before she is born, and telling a boy that he should marry early because she does not have the patience to wait, would not be a great Z’cus for her.

  5. Interesting that in this weeks Yated (American) the same letter appears on Page 29 however in the Yated it also lists the BMG Rosh Hayeshiva (Rav Kotler) and Mashgiach (Rav Solomon). Any reason their names were left off of this letter here in Matzav?

  6. The “appropriate time” – Chazal have already defined that to be before 20. If the bochur is “ready for shidduchim ” – like there is no requirement to make Pesach if your not ready.

  7. I heard this from someone else. Instead of going to the freezer yeshivos, the bochurim can go to the oven yeshivos, where they can pop in and pop out quickly. That might help!!

  8. so now my 22 year old daughter will have even less of a pool to pick from. till now there was the hope that the younger group would still come our way but if they are being cradle snatched it effectively cuts off the whole younger group and the older girls will c”v be stranded.

  9. To Chiam Bas ploini liploini is not a religion, nor is it Halacha Le`mase. In halacha lemase we see a person should do a shidduch on tisha beav and not wait 12 hours later. Also writing a T`noim on Chol Hamoed is permitted. Halacha Le`mase is boys should get married young. The reason they got married later years ago is because they were very very poor. Today that learning in kolel el is the norm we are mechuyev to start younger from as the Halacha requires.Just deciding to delay (& toturing bnos yisroel)is Kfira. Our religion is to follow Halacha.

  10. To #16
    It is the OPPOSITE of what you are saying. It will benefit your 22 year old daughter tremendously, since the 20 & 21 year old boys will probably not be running after the 22 year old girls anyway. What will happen is, the 20 year old boys will take the 19 or 20 year old girls. The 21 year old boys will also choose the 19-21 year old girls. There will then be fewer 20 & 21 year old girls competing with your 22 year old daughter for those 22 & 23 year old boys. Putting more boys on the market can only make it easier for the girls. The shidduch crisis is really a “shortage of boys” crisis. Adding more boys will alleviate the problem.

  11. How many of these Yeshivos have bachurim in 4th year? The list represents not more than a couple hundred boys and that is only true because of the inclusion of South Fallsburg. Without them the total would be less than 50. By fourth year the bachurim are in Israel except for Riverdale, possibly Passaic, some Paterson a few Chaim Berliners and few others.

    It is noteworthy that Passaic and Riverdale and Paterson and Chaim Berlin are not represented on this kol korei.
    Philadelphia, Long Beach, Scranton, Peekskill and other Yeshivos are not signed on.

  12. To MJ

    I guess your daughter is one of the thousands of girls now insisting on a younger or same age guy.

    Well good luck with that.

    A B

  13. Boys learning in these yeshivas ussually tend to go to israel from there and generally begin their dating upon return from israel after either one or two years.
    A B

  14. @Beis Din
    It doesn’t have to be a forgery if this was written before Rav Belsky had the extra name added. Most likely this letter was written several years ago and is just being reused.

  15. @Beis Din
    It doesn’t have to be a forgery if this was written before Rav Belsky had the extra name added. Most likely this letter was written several years ago and is just being reused.


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