A Reader Writes: If Askanim Would Put Time Into Redding Shidduchim…


shidduchimDear Editor,

Some parents in our community have been blessed, while living in the age of the shidduch crisis, to have merited to marry off all their marriageable children at an early age. These parents, almost without exception, have also merited to be socially prominent, economically secure, and of good reputation. These qualities help make the most able shadchanim. They know many people in their neighborhoods and when they talk, people listen, as in the old E.F. Hutton commercial.

Perhaps, in hakoras hatov to Hashem for having their mazel, they ought to look at those in their midst, friends and neighbors, outside of their socio-economic circles, who have not been as blessed to have married off their children as easily, and put their charm and power of persuasion to work for others, before they’re asked. Often people are hesitant to ask.

Imagine what they could accomplish if they wanted to!

T. F.

New York


  1. For the record, there are many such families who’ve married off ALMOST all their kids, and nothing wrong with the ones left.

  2. This applies to those who “when they talk, people listen” more than how many kids they’ve married off- all, some or none.

    It’s just that those who have married off their marriageable age kids, aren’t busy looking for Shidduchim for their OWN kids, and generally have more time to do for others. All “when they talk, people listen” types are welcome though.

  3. A Shidduch solution


    Shidduch World was created with one primary goal; to help singles and their parents in the process of Shidduchim!

    It is our sincere hope that by working together with concerned Yidden from around the world, we will merit to facilitate many more Shidduchim in Klal Yisrael!

  4. Shidduchworld.org seems to me to be a cross between Kesher profiles (with all these types of questions, geared to Chassidim) and Sawyouatsinai.com (which is by far more effective in getting a feel of the person because Sawyouatsinai.com provides pictures, so vital in Shidduchim these days).

    How many Litvish guys are going to post their info?

    I’d like to know if anyone will sign up for the optional $360 a month for a Shadchan to concentrate on the single. Seems like a bit much.

  5. this is a super idea, hope it works. also a great idea to introduce a plan for older girls to marry younger men,it has been done by some gedolim in th epast and it worked out beautifully …

  6. speech teacher1, in order for there to be movement on this idea, Gedolim and Askonim would have to seriously encourage it. Nothing happens by itself.

  7. With all the Crises we are presently plagued with, I have found there are three levels of help being offered.

    1- I hear you.

    This is someone that listens to your problem.

    2- I feel for you.

    This is the next level, they hear you and they sympathize with you.

    3- I want to help you in any way possible.

    They hear you, they sympathize with you and are offering to help.

    In regard to the health and financial crises, only those w. medical expertise or extra funds or jobs to offer, can help.

    In regard to the Shidduch crisis, most everyone can help by suggesting Shidduchim, redding them and following up. Why are there so many good listeners and sympathizers, who stop short of the third level of actually helping?

    Excuses abound like I don’t have time, I tried and they don’t work, it’s not my personality type…

    If you’ve ever gotten actual help from others in any way, and we all have, do the same for others in need.


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