With provisions for the way, I rush to the bus stop certain my bus will arrive any moment. When I get to the tachana I see people spilling out into the street, each waiting for different buses. I take a seat on a small spot of a bench among the many people, waiting for my bus to arrive.
Then I see a bus approaching, and I anticipatorily step into the street ready to board what I am sure is my bus. Rav Kav and money in hand, I glance at the kav number, and I realize that this is not my bus. Disappointed, I step back and watch as other travelers hurriedly board the bus and as the bus pulls away into the busy traffic.
More buses come and go, and each time I am certain that it will be my bus. Sometimes I think it is my bus and almost board, only to realize it is a 36 not a 39 or 56 not a 52. Alas, I am left alone with my now crumpled 50 shekel bill and sweaty 10 shekel coin. The other travelers have gotten on their buses, and I am alone waiting for my bus.
As I wait, I ponder the truths of waiting. Just because there are other buses coming does it mean that my bus is any nearer to arriving? Would it not be better for the 36 to not come only to get my hopes up to later crash as I realize it is not my bus? As I sit waiting at the now relatively quiet tachana, I realize that my bus can come at any time even if it is not preceded by many other buses.
I put away my Rav Kav, put away my money, and I sit quietly with my open tehillim. I have done all I can to ready myself for the arrival of my bus, now I can only sit and wait for it to arrive. That is not in my hands.
So here I stand at my hypothetical bus stop. Life rushes me by, yet sometimes, somehow, slows to a virtual standstill. I feel like I have made all the necessary hishtadlus to find my bashert, and so I wait. I greet every arriving bus with the anticipation that this could be my ride. I try not to get disillusioned when none of the buses are mine. I strengthen my resolve when the bus stop gets quiet and my friends have all gone on their journeys, but I do sometimes wonder where my bus is and what is taking so long. It is at these times that I remind myself that “no bus” or “wrong bus” does not mean my bus is not far behind.