I walked down the hallway of the children’s ward in Sloan Kettering Hospital and I cried. Although it is arguably the best place for children with cancer to be in, it doesn’t make it any easier to understand the pain and fear these families are experiencing.
Yet, here I am, a few days before the Yom Hadin, trying to get myself to truly realize what it feels like to be in a position where you need to beg for your life. I wanted to learn from and watch those who are living this. I wanted to see how they daven, see how they cry, see how they use every moment to connect, see what a person who actually is in a life or death situation does in order to make it through their day.
I watched. I learned. I cried. I thanked Hashem for not putting me in this situation. I begged Hashem to never send me this nisayon. I promised I would be better and made two kabbalos to strengthen myself and my emunah. I left.
As I was walking back to my car, I was sent an email with a link to a video of a kumzitz style selichos. I watched it and I cried one more time. I cried for all those people who think this is how one brings in the awesomeness of the time of year we are in.
I challenge anyone there to spend the hour in this hospital as I did and walk away with even the thought that perhaps Hashem wants this type of a davening. They will claim that dveykus is what this is about – clinging to Hashem, coming closer, tuning in, and connecting. Well, if that video is how it is supposed to be, then I wonder why nobody in Sloan is singing and dancing, because they, more than anyone, truly understand what it means to want to be close and connect to Hashem.
Those families get it. They live it. They and only they can be our real life proof of who is right and who is off.
Go ahead and publish this letter on Matzav.com and watch the comments. Many will agree and many will not – until they are in Sloan Kettering, and then they too will agree.
Lakol zeman vo’eis. There is a time for a concert, a time to sing and dance, a time to let the power of shirah penetrate. Now is not that time. Iran is ready to attack, lomdei Torah are being threatened for not enlisting, and Hakadosh Boruch Hu is opening the shaarei dema’os. He is waiting for us to come in, b’eimah uveyira.
Lakol zeman vo’eis. There is a time for everything.
Ah gut yohr.